The Nice Second Child Debate: Head Vs. Coronary heart


A while in the past, and I can’t pinpoint precisely when, my physique began to crave one other child. I’m fairly certain my ovaries began to ache (though that may’t be backed up by science). I acquired the fever once more, identical to I did the primary time.

The massive distinction between the primary time I wished to get pregnant and the second time is that my head and coronary heart are not in sync. The primary time, my mind had completely no concept what it was entering into as a result of there have been no previous experiences to match to. This time round, my mind always performs satan’s advocate and jogs my memory of all of the logical the explanation why I ought to positively not get pregnant once more. In the meantime, my coronary heart is like, “Ignore all logic and give me a child. My clock is ticking, woman.”



I began to confer with this phenomenon as “The Nice Second Child Debate.”

I think about that if my head and my coronary heart had been to truly have conversations with one another, they might sound so much like this.


The Being pregnant Debate

Coronary heart: Ooooh. I feel it’s ovulation day. Get busy and make a child. Do it tonight!

Head: However you HATED being pregnant. You had been depressing. You complained each waking minute of the day and counted down the times till your due date.

Coronary heart: You’re being dramatic. It actually wasn’t that unhealthy. Sure, I had a tough time and I used to be uncomfortable, however there have been additionally actually candy components that I miss. The flutters that was kicks that was karate chops, the tender politeness from strangers, the excuse to eat frozen yogurt as a meal substitute.

Head: You’re romanticizing it. You puked thrice a day on your whole first trimester.

Coronary heart: Good level, however perhaps I’ll get fortunate the second time round.

Head: Ha!


The New child Fog Debate

Coronary heart: Look! Over there! It’s a child. A tiny, valuable, delicious-smelling new child. Go gawk at it. You realize you need to.

Head: Cease and stare all you need however want I remind you about what an absolute mess you had been whenever you a first-time mom to a new child? I feel you cried greater than the newborn did. And don’t get me began on the sleep deprivation. You had been like an additional on The Strolling Useless. It took months, probably even years, so that you can really feel like your self once more.

Coronary heart: Sure, however this time received’t be such a shock to my system as a result of I’ll know what to anticipate. I’m a veteran now. I’ve been within the new child trenches and I do know that even when it doesn’t really feel prefer it on the time, it’s fleeting. There’s a lightweight on the finish of the tunnel.

Head: You’re proper. You’ve reached the sunshine. Your Three-year-old sleeps by means of the evening and is lastly potty skilled. No extra midnight feedings. No extra diapers. Why would you need to torture your self once more?

Coronary heart: Be quiet. I’m too busy discreetly attempting to smell this child. It’s intoxicating.

Head: You’re hopeless.


The Solely Youngster Debate

Coronary heart: I desperately need to give my little one a sibling, a playmate for all times. I can’t stress the significance of siblings sufficient. They’re your reminiscence keepers and form who you’ll turn out to be.

Head: What are you an inspirational Pinterest board now? There’s completely nothing incorrect with elevating an solely little one. You may dedicate all your consideration to him. You’ll by no means need to really feel responsible about not being in two locations directly, the best way all dad and mom of a number of youngsters really feel.

Coronary heart: What about when the husband and I are outdated and grey and should be taken care of? That’s an terrible lot of stress to placed on only one little one. He wants a sibling to assist him carry the burden of no matter life throws at him.

Head: That’s what associates are for.

Coronary heart: I’ve a sudden urge to name my sister.

<20 minutes of laughter, gossip, and comparing motherhood struggles later>

Head: Not everybody seems to be greatest associates with their siblings.

Coronary heart: Yea however whenever you do, it’s fairly nice.


In case you’re questioning who finally received the nice second child debate, my husband and I at the moment attempting for quantity two. The deciding elements: We love being dad and mom, we are literally fairly good at it, and our household simply doesn’t really feel full with one child.

Whoever mentioned the mind was the strongest drive within the human physique clearly by no means had ovaries.


Our subsequent recos:

A Tribute to the Second Youngster

The 5 Irrational Fears One Has When Pregnant With Their Second

Recommendation to Myself the Second Time Round

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